yeah, something has changed.....I made it through the whole season of Biggest Loser without shedding a tear. I cried several times while watching the Ford Ironman today.....even after I watched it live October 9th on my computer and knew the outcomes and major stories already.
I think the abbreviated explanation is that while eating and weight loss will always be part of 'my story', I'm identifying less and less with the 280 lb size 30 person I was and the lifestyle and eating habits that supported that. As the time goes by, I am identifying more with living an active lifestyle and the desire to push limits over and over again to see what I can do. I understand the drive, and I know the pain of not living up to personal expectations. I know the obsession of training. I know the feeling of logging hundreds of miles and hours and sometimes still not hitting a personal goal....and sometimes achieving more than I thought I could, and sometimes having to be content with a finish in any form I can get it. I get it.
The old me, and the emotional attachment to that journey is slowly beginning to fade. I wondered how long it would take, Brian and I have talked about this over the past 3 years. When will the whole weight loss journey we took not feel as raw and emotional, or will it always?? While we will always have to stay on top of what and how we eat (I am still afraid everyday of gaining the weight back...that hasn't faded yet!)....the emotions of the journey we took are fading.....and that is a good feeling.
Sit me in a room to watch amazing athletes and their journey to finish an Ironman, and I am a mess!! Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes : )
"I'm identifying less and less with the 280 lb size 30 person I was and the lifestyle and eating habits that supported that." Great insight. You are really looking and moving forward. Yours is a great story of inspiration, dedication and discipline.
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