Monday, May 28, 2012

Grandma Jean

Grandma and Myles
There is so much I want to say in this much I would like to say about much I would like to say to certain family much I would like to say about screwed up family dynamics. The truth is, some things are better left unsaid.

Grandma with her garden

Emma, Grandpa, Grandma, and Brian pushing Myles in the car

Grandma having an Icee w/Myles
Here is what I will say.  I loved my Grandma. Grandma knew this. I shared memories from my childhood in my post on Friday. As an adult, Grandma had a knack for knowing when something was wrong.  She would call, and I would say, "how did you know?", and she would say " I just knew".  Because of this knack for calling she was the one who talked me through more than a few complicated times.  When Grandma visited us in GA, it was Grandma who sat on the floor crying with me listening to why I was not happy, and helped me focus on the things that really mattered in my life. When it was just Grandma and I, we could both share our viewpoints and thoughts and "reasons" for choices in life. She would listen, I would listen, and in the end, we would understand each other better, and be able to agree to disagree when we needed to.  That is when it was just Grandma and I.  When it wasn't just Grandma and I, she found herself smack in the middle of my relationship w/my father, and that complicated things. We did not see or talk to each other as often as we would have liked the past few years. She and I had spoke about this and I know that she knew why things were the way they were.  Neither of us liked it, but it was what it was.I knew full and well that to keep the peace, when I was not around, she would side w/whatever was being said about me.  It did not matter to me because we both knew she really had no choice. I knew she loved me, and she knew she was loved, and we both hated the situation. The complications of the past 3 years does not negate or diminish or erase the past 31 years of precious memories we have together that were less complicated.
Grandma w/Myles in Tennessee
I think Grandma would tell us she had the perfect last day.  She was visiting her family that she got to see only every few years.  She treasured her trips down south to visit her family. Family was everything to Grandma. She spent the day shopping with her family, having lunch at Olive Garden, and then back to families house.  She had not been feeling well during the day.  Grandma loved shopping though, and wanted to continue.  When they got home, she went into her room to gather her new purchases to show everyone....and she didn't come out.  She spent her last day with family that she loved and she treasured her time with, doing what she loved, in a place she loved to visit. 

I know this is an emotional time for the family, and I know that some pretty harsh things have been said.  Only Grandma and I know the relationship we had.  I am grateful for those special times, phone calls, and visits we had away from from the rest of the family. We did the best we could with the situation we had been put in. I am grateful for all the memories, and I know that grandma and I will make many more memories when we meet again!
Grandma in Tennessee w/Em and Sophie

Friday, May 25, 2012

Gone Fishing-Back Monday

We are headed to Shasta for the weekend.

Although we have been looking forward to this weekend for a while, it is with a heavy heart that I will be w/o phone or computer.  I know that when I get back, things may not be the same, and that there is a large part of  my family that will be having a very difficult weekend.

I hope that everyone, EVERYONE, knows that they are loved dearly. You are in my thoughts constantly, and I'm so sorry that so many things have happened in the past few days.

I will spend the weekend fishing with my kids, and remembering the many wonderful fishing trips with my grandparents. My Grandpa Carl and Grandma Jean love fishing and took my sister and I as often as they could.  They loved taking us in the camper and the boat and catching loads and loads of fish. We thought it was such a treat to ride in the motor home, and go to the gas station early in the morning and get treats on the way to the lake. They taught us a lot about fishing - how to catch your worms late at night sticking an electric prod down into the ground....I got such a kick out of watching the worms come up out of the ground, how to clean and fillet a fish in about .5 seconds (and in mass quantity), how to scale fish, how to fry the best little crunchy fish nuggets, and perhaps most to pee in a coffee can on the boat. : )
Interestingly, in those same visits I would learn about fashion, cute shoes, jewelry, and makeup. I would learn that leopard print always matches pearls, and the higher the heels the better, but blue cowboy hats, boots, and big belt buckles were good, too.
One thing I have always been reminded of when with my grandparents.....the earlier you get up, the more work you can get done, and that there is great satisfaction in filling your dinner table with food that you grew. And that sweet tea can never be too sweet, and no meal is complete w/o sliced bread. And that you can not go to sleep w/o having crunchy toast w/peanut butter. And that every kid loves having pictures drawn on their back, and alarm clocks that project onto the ceiling...and motorcycles. I spent summers riding around grandma and grandpas huge garden on a loop that grandpa build bumps for me to jump on, and eventually grandma would end up giving my her motorcycle. I learned that if you are going to sneak into the garden and eat all of grandmas tomatoes, or play hide and seek in the corn field and knock over the stalks...don't get caught!
I have so many great memories, and I'm very grateful for that, they are huge part of what makes me who I am.  My grandparents were married in their mid teens and are such a "pair", the prospect of one existing w/o the other, I can't even imagine it.

Again...I love you all, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all this weekend.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Knee Bruising Question

Anyone out there w/IT band issues have bruising on the outside of the knee?? Not as in "feels bruised" but as in an actual blue/green bruise?
When it was really bad I had a spot, about the size of a thumb print, on the outside of the knee, just to the right of my right knee cap, it's right where I can see a line of tendon that connects in...that would constantly have a bruise.  It's been gone for the last 2 weeks (I also  have had little to no pain during that 2 weeks, running short, flat, easy 3 milers on the treadmill).   Its really hard to pick it up on the camera, but it's there, here's the best I could do, and you can see in the video better where it is and, obviously, it does not hurt at all to touch/push on it or move it.

Coming down the last downhill of Saturdays 5k I ran maybe 5 steps and had the same old shooting sharp pain on the outside of the knee, and the bruise is back. ( when it was bad, it would usually be the worst on downhill, so I was not terribly surprised to feel it) I ran today w/the Beast, pushing Myles in the jogger, 4 flat miles.  No sharp knife-like pain and was walking comfortably afterwards.  It's stiff, and feels like it's healing, just curious about the bruising.  It's clearly the same size, same spot when it shows up.
Any thoughts out there??  I feel like it's getting better.  It feels way better.  I am able to walk after I'm done running, and for a while there I could not hardly bend it at all after a run.  The sharp knife pains are very few and far between (like once in the past 2 weeks, and when I would expect it to have shown up).  I suspect the bruise is a remnant of Saturdays downhill pain, that whatever it is that happens when the pain shoots is what makes the bruise.

This Week -

This week has been way less eventful than last week and I'm thankful for that!
I could do w/o these terrible allergies, though.  I rarely get sick, like just want to sleep and not move sick, but have felt that way the past 2 days. It feels like there is grit in my throat, sinus, ears, and just scratchy powdery grit that is making everything feel raw, burny, and watery.
Kona has also had a rough week.  After 2 failed grooming appointments, it looks as though I may be his new groomer.  We've always taken him to the same place, but something has changed and he's just way too nervous, "aggressive, and unpredictable". After yesterdays appointment, he came home completely shaved...looks nothing like a Schnauzer, just a rat. I guess brushing his face was making him bite, so they just shaved everything off, his cute eyebrows and beard...gone.  At least it's a good camping hair cut.
Speaking of camping, we are heading to Shasta for a 3.25 day weekend. Any moms out there who agree that it is a lot of work to go camping and anything short of 4 days just isnt' worth it??  You still have to pack everything, it's not like you go for shorter and take less stuff, you still need it all no matter how long you go. And the thought of getting there at 9 on Friday night and setting up a tent is less than thrilling. That said, it means the world to the kids, they love our camping trips, no matter how short or long.  Brian will not be able to take any vacation time until the middle of August (first 3 months of employment), so we have to take what we can get this summer, and be happy with our 3 days!
In workout news, I bumped up to the next level of Jillian's Body Revolution, phase 2, workouts 7 and 8. What have I learned? Super sets are killing my upper body. I was super sore the next day...combined that with the allergies and it felt a bit like having the flu.  I do like it and would most likely be annoyed if I were not sore, so I'm not complaining.  The goal of course is that next week when doing these workouts I will not be sore.
In other news, the girls have Talent Show try outs today after school.  They are signing and dancing to the smash hit, "Summer" by Phineas and Ferb. haven't heard of it?? If you know anyone under 10 they could sing it for you. : )

Monday, May 21, 2012

A Few From The Trail.....

 A few pictures for you taken from Brian and the amazing Brazen volunteer photographers who share their time, energy, and talent so that we can have free access to our trail memories! Thank You!!
(as a side note, turns out Myles was the youngest runner out there)

That red flag on the ground is a mile marker, but I can't tell which one.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Brazen's Wildcat 5/10k - Summary Below

nice shorts!

Sophie is the little pink person going through the gate

we caught her on a hill

she took off, and this was a rare occasion when he ran

he splashed around in that tiny stream crossing the trail up there

his personal assistant at the aid station, Brazen has the best volunteers!

This eucalyptus grove smelled so good!

He's walking backwards and I'm pulling him up hill

here comes Em in the blue shirt

I was just snapping away and happend to catch this epic fall, she popped up and kept going

right now she's saying "you didn't get that, right?", I said I dont' think so...didn't know until I got home and looked.

nothing to see here, just taking care of business

More pictures here