Today was dentist day.
Keeping this short, but honest- I don't think I realized how deep my issues regarding the dentist are. I started shaking and crying in the waiting room and really wanted to leave. There was a thorough conversation with the hygienist regarding history, ie where the anxiety comes from, childhood experiences and that sort of thing. Things I don't talk about in my normal day to day dealings. Lots of note taking. Tons of pictures, both x-ray and with a digital normal camera, and then finally with a wand HD camera that first took front, back, and surface pictures of each tooth, then switched to decay detection mode and took all the pictures again (it showed a different color light if it detects decay.) Then it was time to meet the dentist. She read over the notes, talked with me about her similar experiences and how/why she got into pain free, anxiety reducing dentistry. I really, really like her and think she will be just what I need. She then did an exam, feeling all the muscles around the neck, jaw, and face. Then she went tooth by tooth telling the hygienist, who was taking notes, what she saw regarding each tooth. The short version is I dont' know what a lot of what she said meant, but heard a lot "gross decay" and "fracture". There were maybe 6 teeth that got a "# such and such looks fine". It took about 2 hours. I was totally exhausted when we got home and slept for 3 hours.
I know some reading this will think I'm being dramatic, but please know that I'm not a dramatic person when it comes to pain or difficult things. I don't usually show much emotion and can tend to come off unaffected emotionally when I should be, or stoic, or even just cold....so for this to hit me as hard as it did was shocking to me. I usually keep it together. I rarely cry in front of other people. I'd love to be typing that it ended up being no big deal and I should have gone along time ago. Truth is, different people have different issues, and this turns out to be a big one for me.
We go back Wednesday for a sit down consult with her to discuss what all needs done, what are priorities, and what to expect financially.
I don't plan on regularly reporting my dentistry issues here, but did want to let you all know how it went since I did do a post on it last week. : )